I am the Master

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I am the Master

Category : Family

Have you ever done anything for your kids and they immediately think that you are the absolute BOMB at it?  No really, do they think that in their eyes, you are just fantastic at doing that particular thing?  Do they have that inbuilt knowledge that you have been practicing that particular task for years, perfecting it, just so you could trot it out to them?

Well, my 11yo son thinks all this and more of me when it comes to making……..wait for it………..PROFITEROLES!

Jesus Christ.

I am SO NOT THE BOMB in making these.  Have you ever tried making these bloody things?  They would have to be the most time consuming, fiddly, multiple stepped item of food that I have made.  Whoever came up with the concept of these bloody things can go stuff themselves full of the custard that fills them.  I detest you.

But because I don’t want to tarnish the iconic status that I have now achieved in my pre teen son’s eyes, I have to continue the sham that I actually like making them.  And what makes this even more laughable, is that I have made them – before yesterday – exactly once.  That’s right.  ONCE.  And I made something like 8.  Which were all gobbled up and barely touched the sides, so God know’s how any of them could say how they bloody tasted.

But Tom comes home a couple of weeks ago and tells me that for this year’s Mission Day (this year raising money for poor communities in Cambodia), that he and his mates are going to run a Baker Cat Stall (for the purposes of this story, Baker Cat is nothing).  It is essentially a bake stall.  And he has reliably told his friends that he – not me – will provide profiteroles.  Until of course he came home and told me that he needed 40 something profiteroles.  FORTY!!!!!  Oh FFS.

So here I am last night, whipping up the spongey outside casings and preparing the custard to go inside.  I ended up with 41 which I was mighty happy with until I discovered that I had undercooked half of them by 10 minutes so had to whack them back in the oven and pray that they did their magic and puffed up.  They mostly did.

But it didn’t stop there.  We were also to make Anzac bikkies, muffins and homemade lemonade [I should pop in a disclaimer here and say that I do have a thermomix, so making all this is not all that hard….except the bloody profiteroles that require multiple steps].  So this morning dawns with a perfect weather day and I have the Anzac bikkies, the muffins and the profiterole casing and custard all ready.  All I needed to do was fill the bloody casings smear them with chocolate and make the lemonade.  I would drop everything off at school at 11.30 ready for the 12pm Mission Day stalls.  It would be a breeze.

Except it wasn’t.

Dropping Henry at daycare this morning, I discovered I left his Epipens at home and had to drive all the way back to get them so I could deposit him out of my way.  The custard was so cold out of the fridge that it didn’t want to pipe into the casings.  I dropped some on the ground, which on it’s own was ok, but there was water on ground and they got wet.  Soggy profiteroles are no-one’s friend and certainly would not live up to the Michelin Star standard my son believes them to be.  So six bit the dust and the pigs will enjoy those.  Then I nearly ran out of chocolate.

An research interview which was to run 45mins from 10.30am, ran until 11.50am leaving me with 10 minutes to make the lemonade (which included getting the lemons off the tree….why do they never come off when you need them to?), shove everything into the car and zoom to the school.

Needless to say, the kitchen was a shambles of chocolate, globs of custard, spilt lemonade due to syphoning it into bottles, stickiness everywhere and lemon pulp over the bench.  And I looked like shit.  The upside was, the place smelled wonderfully of citrus!

But I rocked up to that stall with those 35 profiteroles, the Anzac bikkies, the muffins and the homemade lemonade and Tom thought I was the Master.  He proudly announced to his cohort that the profiteroles had arrived and now they could really raise some money.  And together with the popcorn machine (one we also supplied!), the chocolate fountain, the mint slices, the truffle balls, the honey joys and the slushy machine, those boys did raise money.  $35+ in fact.  Which is not too bad an effort considering they were selling things for 10 and 20 cents each!

Yes, I am a Master. And I hope to pass on the knowledge of multitasking to my young grasshopper.  But for now, I am thankful that he was thankful.  And that was enough for me today.

(oh and Baker Cat……check it out on YouTube where you get the music)bakercat